Hey, Tom again here with Reagan Youth. For those of you not in the know, we are actively trying to get our youth in apprenticeship programs throughout America. One of our most recent endeavors is trying to get children under the age of 15 in hull repair apprenticeships. While we are having a hard time achieving endorsements here in Fort Lauderdale, US HOISTS have agreed to sponsor some of our Youth in attaching hoists to the ships themselves.
This is a tremendous opportunity for our 501© sponsorships because if we don’t have enough kids in apprenticeship programs, we either have to start tossing kids out of the program or be rid of our tax-exemption status. Neither of those sounds very positive to me, and everyone knows I’m Tom Positive all the time.
In other, brighter news, we have had a fantastic time employing some of our youth in the expedition programs in some of the most extended states. We have a group of 14-year-olds doing volcanic research and geological foraging for scientists in Hawaii. We also have a group of 13-year-olds who are in Alaska learning about deep sea drilling.
Those little tikes were excited about the huskies and sleds, but based on some of the letters we’re receiving from the parents, they don’t like the 40-foot waves in the middle of the ocean. They told us they were excited about the big splashes, but can you ever trust a kid to know what they want? They’re just kids! And this information they have will traumatize their future resumes. They are going to have such an edge when they are older this is a great thing.
Just look at me, Tom Positive. I started out with the company when I was just a little boy, and I was one of the first outsourced children. I went to an upscale Los Angeles agency for my training, and now here I am watching over the same company that gave me the skills to run in properly. I inadvertently received a life lesson in recursion which only a few people will truly understand.
But now we have our kids going out to all sorts of jobs that no one else wants to do. Our workforce is giving the kids the education they need to do some the kinds of jobs that nobody else in the world wants to do. They will be the foremost experts in fields that will soon be forgotten and it is all thanks to us here at Reagan Youth.
If you want your kid to be successful in a trade that will soon be automated. Make sure to call us at Reagan Youth today. We will ensure that your child receives the best training possible. With an all-time low 3% fatality rate* we guarantee that your child will be in the safest hands that this industry can guarantee.
*percentages may vary based on the influx of our “volunteer” program. Your child may or may not have an increased chance of fatality based on location, and these numbers do not include children who have been maimed, flayed or comatose due to on-work related injuries.